ALPHA and omega

i know, i know. i never capitalize unless it has meaning. well, this capitalization has meaning. i was driving home a couple weeks ago and i heard a song on the radio that said something like this: "You're been doing great things since the world began." and i started thinking that God has always been. He has no beginning. we often focus on how eternal He will be in the future, but what about the past? did you ever think about what was He doing before time began? i like to think that He was shaping us and our personalities and our very lives. think of how many people there have been on this earth since time began. there are over 6 billion people alive on earth now, but in the past 6000 years, exactly how many have there been? there's no way to tell while on this earth. maybe God was shaping the life of each and every person. how much time did He spend on each one? since He has no beginning, so maybe he spent a minute, maybe he spent a day, or maybe he spent 2 millions years. stop right there and think of that: God spent 2 million years on just you. 2 million years on making, forming, planning your life and your being. now you may be thinking: "well, there's not much to me. there's no way He spent 2 million years on me. more like 2 seconds. ha!" well, there's more to you than you think. your emotions, your likes, your dislikes, your habits, your physical appearance, your mental ability, etc. i don't know if He really spent 2 million years on each person; He could have spent less than a second if He wanted too, but i believe He loves us that much to spend that much time on each one of us.

ephesians 3:20

i was in phoenix on sunday for joel and amber's wedding and they read ephesians 3 for the wedding service. this verse is usually taken with the others around it, but i like it by itself.

"Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us"

i had forgotten about that verse until the minister read it. it convicted me of all the times that i try to do things on my own forgetting that if i give it up to God, He will turn it into something so much better. i ask myself why? why do i try to control situations? why do i try to make my own decisions? why do i worry about things i have no control over? sometimes, i make mountains out of molehills, when if i had trusted God to begin with, there wouldn't even be a molehill. silly human thinking. peace.

i need You

it's uncharacteristic of me to post twice in the same week, but i just had to post this amazing song by the swift called "i need You" (i can't do the colors like natalie can, but you get the point)


My heart is restless in me
My wings are all worn out
I'm walking in the wilderness
And I cannot get out
I need You, Oh, I need You
Blessed Savior come
I need You, Oh, I need You
Fill the every longing in my soul

CHORUS
Oh, how I need You, Lord
I need Your perfect Word
With tearful eyes to see
The sin that I afford
I need to weep and pray
For all the thousand ways
That I have failed You just today

My bed is soaked with sadness
My sadness has no end
A downward spiral of despair
That I keep falling in
I need You, Oh, I need You
To You my soul shall fly
I need You, Oh, I need You
Yaweh, how I love You more than life

CHORUS

Your silence is like death to me
So won't You hear my desperate plea

Today my soul is soaring
Way over mountains high
Though I can see the valleys
They're all just passing by
It's not that I am stronger
Look at my feeble wings
But I've been lifted higher
Yaweh's lifted me in His own strength

Oh, how I love You, Lord
I love Your perfect Word
With tearful eyes to see
The God who always will endure
Now I will celebrate
For all the thousand ways
That You have shown me grace
And made my heart in grace to stay
You've made my heart in grace to stay
Lord, make my heart in grace to stay

I need You, Oh, I need You